It’s the details that made him special. The little freaking curls near the back of Cas’ neck. The way his eyes darkened when talking about home. His constant refusals to the offer of chapstick even though Dean always said the guy seriously needed some.
There were times when he walked slower than everyone else around even in crowded places. The hunter knew that the fallen angel simply wanted to stop and enjoy everything, to learn everything there was to know about any object he came to focus on. Sure it was annoying; but when something caught Cas’ attention his eyes would go wide, full blown pupils drowned out by blue, a mix of fear and reverence wrinkling his usually-smooth forehead. The hunter would never admit how easy it was for bright blue eyes to chase away annoyance.
People always said that the guy’s problem was too much heart. And Dean thinks, after all these years of knowing him, that he agrees. In retrospect, Cas made so many mistakes - but Dean can’t bring himself to mind. The apologies - the way his lip quivered, teeth chattering as if plagued by cold and numbness, the way his voice broke, choked off by grief - they stood out.
When Dean thinks about Cas, he thinks about his laugh - the way his mouth pulled only a little bit upwards before finally breaking out into a grin, all teeth and pants and hearty joy. Dean thinks about his faith and how desperately he had latched onto it. Dean thinks about the way the angel understood him, completely, and how he always knew to come when the hunter called.
Dean thinks about the last time he held Cas’ hand in that hospital room, wondering how in the world he was going to fix him.
Dean remembers the little curls at the back of Cas’ neck. He remembers the way Cas’ eyes darkened when he talked about what the angels had done to him, what heaven had become.
And he remembers, most of all, Cas’ chapped lips against his own, scratchy and weak, covered with dried blood but pulled up into a final smile.
It’s the details that made him special.
Dean’s Theme (Americana excerpt) - Jay Gruska and Christopher Lennertz
Dean’s theme shows up multiple times throughout the series in different variations, and it wrecks me every time. I cut out the one iteration of Dean’s theme from the soundtracks, located in the middle of the track Americana, and strung it together twice. Enjoy the feels~